What a concern that afflicts many people during their lifetime! Even worse, it hinders them from resuming their path. It is the so called, “What do others think of me?” Indeed, people have become more preoccupied with what others think of them, regardless of their actions.
Once upon a time, a sage lived in a big city with his disciples. One day, a man got annoyed by the people’s appreciation of the sage. They saw he was so wise that he left no question unanswered. So, the man decided to test the sage before the people. He went to a field, caught a beautiful butterfly and hid it between his hands. He considered asking the sage if it was alive or dead. If the sage said it was dead, he would let it fly, and if he said it was alive, he would squash it to die. This way, he would embarrass the sage.
Having approached the sage, the young man asked him, “Is the butterfly alive or dead?” The sage paused for a while. Everybody wondered what his answer would be. Then he answered, “It is all up to you. If the butterfly is dead, you killed it. If it is not, you will let fly.” He continued, “Our deeds depend on us, not on how others see us.”
The man kept quiet, then opened his hands, letting the butterfly go, saying, “What we do is the most important. It determines our lives, not others’ opinions.”
Many people base their judgment on feelings which might be for or against someone. Thus, they are affected by the person, not his deeds. On the other hand, others base their judgment on what they hear; whereas they do not know the person. A third group gives its opinion according to its interest. Do then what your conscience, values, principles, and mission tell you is right. Do not make the noise of others’ opinions overwhelm your inner voice and lead you to failure.
At the same time, choose those who objectively evaluate your deeds. Very few people have learnt how to help others evaluate their actions. The correct judgment of your deeds stems from within you: for you are the only person who knows your ideas, feelings, and motives. So, these honest people clarify whatever is vague. Thus, be honest to yourself that you might realize what you should do.
General Bishop Head of the Coptic Orthodox Cultural Center
