Principles- “Storms of Anger” 6/2/2016

   I tackled in the former article the problem of lack of self-confidence that weakens man’s strength and wastes his energies in negative emotions that don’t bring him nothing but pain and confusion. Today we will talk about other sort of storms that might destroy life of man and possibly his closed people too if he couldn’t defeat it, storms of anger.
   Anger outbreaks make man lose control over his self and reactions and prevent him from thinking rationally or reacting in a suitable way for each situation as the saying goes, “Anger is a rough wind that blows out the lamp of mind” and when man gets angry, he opens his mouth and closes his mind. Some people think that anger is a way to show people that they have a powerful personality to deal with people, implement their ideas and confirm their opinions.
   But in fact the more angry man gets, the more weak he proves to be and the less self-controlled he is. The Wise said, “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty. And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” Thus the best yet the hardest victory man can achieve is over himself and his anger. During anger storms, man loses control over his actions. Aristotle once said that those who give themselves up to anger, lose all control over and as a result regret it at last. The great leader, Gandhi, thinks that that the angry man who can’t control his anger is the one who is wrong. He said that when you are right, you can control your emotions, but if you are wrong you will resort to harmful words just to prove you are right.
   Anger leads to destroy man’s life and ruin his relationship with others thus lose many good people in his life. Effects of anger may hurt others and make their life intolerable. As the Wise said “A wrathful man stirs up strife”. That’s why man should find out the reasons that make him feel angry and practice controlling and getting over it. The quick to anger should be honest and find the true reasons of his anger and try to fix them. If others do some actions that he thinks offensive, he should wait and think whether this was a real offence or insult before taking any procedure, as many times we mistakenly explain others’ reactions or take it as an insult. Thus, be patient and keep yourself busy with another matter then think thoroughly about the situation least you get impulsive and act the wrong way or make unsound decisions.
   There are many reasons that induce people to get angry: stress, depression, personal insult to their ideas, endeared matters or persons.
Here are some ideas to get over anger:
• Confess that you have an anger problem thus you can resist it when its storms blow.
• Know the reasons of your anger and try to think rationally and you will get over it in a different way.
• When angry, try to slowdown and think thoroughly about something else and then think about the reasons of your anger and maybe you’ll find the situation unworthy.
• Try to think objectively of the reasons that made you think it is an insult. Try to figure out all the elements of the situation before taking action which will give you the chance to express your anger wisely in the form of friendly reproach or asking about an explanation. Thus you will get your right without offending, losing irreplaceable someone.
• Remember that: the storm can destroy a ship yet can’t untie a knot and the likeness of it is anger that destroys, but doesn’t give solutions.

Anba Ermiah,
General Bishop& President of the Coptic Orthodox Cultural Center